**A continuation from My Greatest Love Affair – Part 1**
So there I was… a complete mess, broken and confused… but giving it all to God. Not knowing what would or should come next. Not knowing what it really meant to truly give my heart to Him. Not knowing anything… other than that I desperately needed Him at that moment.
But it's true… He ripped my heart to pieces… all because I was too stubborn, too independent, too wrapped up in the world to pay attention to Him – without Him first commanding it. And in the midst of working hard during the summer of ’09 to build my then-version of a “perfect life”, that's just what He did. He commanded my attention… only to then gracefully waltz me into greatest romance of my life…. one sweet step at a time.
So as the summer drew to a close, my lease on my sublet also ran out. Even though I knew I didn’t want to live in Philadelphia, I had no idea where I wanted to be… so I decided to move back home with my parents – just for a short time until I figured my life out. After all, I was a planner, a goal setter… surely I’d come up with some brilliant game plan within a month or so. Around the same time, I also applied for a new gig – an amazing career opportunity directly related to my field of study.
But August turned into September and September into October, and I still had no idea what was happening with my life. Yet all the while He was wooing me with His great affection, drawing me into a place of sweet, sweet intimacy. And the deeper I fell in love with Him, the less I seemed to care about having a life plan. The more I allowed myself to find refuge in His embrace, the less I desired the things of this world. My heart… was changing; the walls I had built up around it were being torn down in the most amorous way possible.
In November, I was hired for the new gig I had applied for in late August. For undisclosed reasons, I cannot speak openly about the position except for the few details that are relevant to properly conveying this story. It wasn't a traditional M-F 9-5er, and it promised no benefits. It only required that I work a handful of days out of the entire month. The work itself really spoke to my heart; it excited me – the passion was evident. So, in the fall of 2009, I left my full-time job at the Abramson Cancer Center and began working as a contractor.
Then when December rolled around, I saw my niece perform in a dance recital, which was held at a local church – Christ's Church of the Valley (www.moviechurch.com). As I walked into the building, I thought, "This place ain't so bad. Maybe I should check a service on Sunday." It was during that time that it dawned on me that it'd be a good idea to actually go to church, to actually be in community with other people who loved Jesus. But then the thought quickly escaped my mind with the busyness of the holidays.
January arrived, and my new gig as a contractor was going swimmingly. I was loving it, and it allotted me a lot of free time. In fact, no work was slated for the month of February, and since the earthquake had just hit Haiti, I felt a yearning to go there and volunteer. So… of course I googled "Hait volunteer opportuntiies" to see what I could find. Unfortunately, it seemed every organization was looking for people with medical expertise, and besides having none, as someone who's been known to faint from the sight of needles and blood, I seemed to be the antithesis of what they were looking for. Naturally, after that, my mind entertained the idea of backpacking Europe once again: I felt an itch to travel, to stretch my legs a bit on foreign soil. But I struggled inside at the thought of spending so much money on something so extravagant… mostly because I couldn't stop thinking that maybe God wanted me to use my money for greater things – for things beyond my own selfish desires.
That next Sunday, I decided to actually attend CCV – finally. As I walked through the doors, I felt welcomed. I felt accepted. I felt at home. And at the end of the sermon, the pastor mentioned an upcoming mission trip to Haiti. Right away, I knew it was the answer to the call and desire that God had put on my heart. Immediately after service, I contacted the pastor about the trip. One thing led to another, and before I knew it…. in May 2010, I was on a plane to Haiti with a small group of church people I didn't really know.
And that’s when the romancing and renovating began….
