Of all the things to be most terrified about – entering a foreign country with six girls, dirty water, items being stolen, malaria perhaps – goodbyes were never on my list.
Let me tell you they are now. I never quite realized just how attached I’ve become to the comfort of my home, friends, family, and beloved pup. Being called away from those things seems wrong because of the pain it’s caused. My heart aches to spend everyday with the people I love, surrounded with familiar faces and voices. The thought of being in the middle of a foreign place around no one but strangers with voices I won’t be able to recognize or even understand sometimes is what is beginning to terrify me.
Luke 9:23 says, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” I don’t recall Jesus saying “Whoever wants to be my disciple should stay exactly where they are and remain in comfort daily.” It’s the exact opposite [He tends to do that a lot].
So I was given my instructions, to deny myself, my desires for comfort and familiarity, to take up my cross daily and follow Him, to wake up and take on every new situation and person I encounter by listening to God’s familiar voice.
See something I’ve gotten mixed up is this: the Lord calls us away from the worldly things we find comfort in so that we may experience the complete and perfect comfort He provides. While on the field I will most definitely run into situations where I am uncomfortable, but at the same time I will be comforted in knowing who stands in front of and behind me.
Walking into the unknown thousands of miles from home will grow me tremendously. I’ll learn how to truly lean on God for my needs – emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. So while saying goodbye to family and friends has been difficult, I know it is not an empty task.
I’ll end by saying this: these goodbyes are temporary. Nine months from now they’ll turn back into hellos and life as I know it will continue. But when I return home I will have a true understanding of what it looks like to deny myself and take up my cross daily and follow Him.
