Rosa has not been back to First Step regularly (see blog: we come from the same pain). I saw here once and she came in with a black eye and did not try to interact with anyone. She just ate her lunch and left. That is the only time I have seen her since. We are leaving at the end of this week and I am sad that I did not have the opportunity to love her more. I did, however, learn some of her story.
Rosa is a gypsy. Her full first name is Rosalee. She was born to gypsy parents. She was born into a family that would sell her to a stranger at the age of 10. This stranger was a man that would rape her repeatedly. Rosa was able to run away but not without internal scars.
She ran away to live on the streets – alone, homeless, without anything to claim as her own except the clothes on her back and a pocket knife. This knife was her protection. She was scared and angry and this was her guarantee that no one would hurt her again.
Rosa was picked up and taken to Hope House, but she would not let herself trust anyone. She would not cooperate with the program and was very defensive. She was removed from the home after she pulled a knife on one of the girls… her knife… the only thing she trusted.
Rosa has lived on the street ever since. She doesn’t have a home. She doesn’t have anyone that cares for her. Her only comfort is getting drunk and her only friend is getting high from huffing glue. And, what was once her only love has turned into an enemy she can not get away from – her knife. Rosa has found away to release all her anger and all her fears – cutting herself. She has found the ability to show the world her internal scars.
Rosa has found First Step and will come in the afternoons to get a meal and a change of clothes. There she is loved unconditionally. There she is safe.
I am sad to leave Ukraine knowing that Rosa is out there on the street somewhere. I pray that God will intervene in her life in a BIG way. I pray that God will continue to put people in her path that will show her the love of Christ. I pray that she finds freedom and learns how to forgive. I pray that she allows herself to love and to be loved. I just pray she is never forgotten.