I woke up on an overnight bus ride from Bolivia to Peru and was quickly taken back by the scenery around me. On my right was a rocky desert with simple mud houses every few miles and on my left was the Pacific Ocean. It was blue and calm and in the distance it blended seamlessly with the clouds.
Leaving Bolivia was really hard. In one month we scrubbed and painted and shoveled a lot, but the relationships we made were more significant than any amount of physical labor we could have done. I came on the race with the hope of making a difference. My logical thinking mind wants to quantify that difference by the number of bricks laid and mouths fed, but as I look out on the infinite Pacific Ocean I am reminded that there are always going to be more bricks to be laid and mouths to be fed. Our world is broken and the tasks are endless, but when people connect with people and share the love of the Father mouths don’t just get fed souls do. The people of the world who are hungry need love as much as food and they need to be clothed with an unshakable identity and sheltered with the promise of mercy and compassion.
In Bolivia, I recognized that I have a choice. I can live each month of the rest of this race on the shore and my feet will be firmly planted on the ground. I can cook, and paint, and dig, and pray without getting emotionally involved. I can look out on the water in front of me and enjoy it’s beauty, but I won’t have to worry about getting taken away by the current. I can feed the hungry and play with orphans, but if I stay planted on the shore goodbyes will be easy and my heart will stay in tact but not changed. Or, I can dive in to the Pacific. I will be afraid at times and uncomfortable too. Goodbyes will be hard and my heart will break with every wave, but I will be changed in a way that only God can determine.
I desperately want to feed mouths and souls, clothe bodies and mend broken hearts, build homes and relationships. So I am going to dive in, I know I will cry more than I ever have. I know that goodbyes will break my heart and I will leave peices of myself around the world. But the Kingdom of God is worth it, and I know that every break will be healed a thousand times over by the grace of our God whose love is infinite and all-powerful.
