Haven’t written in a while, it’s time.
Coming back to America, is…well challenging at times.
Consumerism, consumerism, consumerism.
I got wrapped up into it, especially over Christmas. How can you pass up those deals?
How can I keep the passion I had on the race, when I’m not on the race? Who has time to read their Bible everyday in America? I haven’t. There’s too many emails to read instead.
No one cares about what I did, and wherever it was that I did it. Beyond the basic recap, no more details are necessary. The ironic part is that those who do care are the ones who have gone out and done it themselves.
I’m not as pessimistic as this blog portrays. At least not most of the time.
It’s when I feel like this that I get the “itch” to get back on the mission field the most.
“At least in (insert name of another country) you didn’t have to deal with (insert issue I am having with America).”
Or, probably more realistically (insert personal issue).
I have had to fight the urge to not title a blog “My New Normal” since it’s a common World Racer blog title.
But there is a new normal.
I have a global perspective many don’t have.
I have a “least of these” perspective that I don’t ever want to lose.
I have this proud perspective that thinks I can live apart from God now that I am in America.
I have this heart perspective that tells me that is a lie.
I have a part of me that wants to forget what I learned, how I grew, what I saw and live the “comfortable” life in America.
I have a greater part of me that is fighting to not do that!
There is a conflict. There is dissonance.
Dissonance – good transition word to the next segment of this blog. What am I doing?
I am working full-time at a group home for adults with mental illness and chemical dependency (I have worked here on and off for five years).
I am working on-call for a series of group homes for adult foster care.
I am back in school at the University of Minnesota pursing a Graduate Certificate in Addiction Studies.
I am learning about dissonance in my classes.
Dissonance means simultaneously holding incompatible views.
Such is the life of a missionary returning to their home country.
Such is the life of a Christian while on this earth, right?
Simply typing this, giving an outlet to these thoughts, has been therapeutic.
I don’t know where the Lord is calling me next.
I should complete this certificate by December.
I want to work with addicts – addiction: a universal phenomenon.
Regardless…
THERE IS HOPE AND FREEDOM FROM ADDICTION
I have experienced HOPE and FREEDOM through Jesus Christ!
I am not dismayed from the dissonance I am experiencing, it can be useful as motivation as long as I do not fall into the trap of believing the lies and succumbing to the situation I perceive as hopeless.
I have been told that I will likely continue to experience these thoughts/feelings as part of the reentry process. The itch to get back to the mission field is good as long as I am not using it to run away from the problems I am experiencing here.
In case you’re interested, here are a list of places I feel the Lord has put on my heart for some future time. I do not know when, I do not know why, and I do not know how. Maybe if you hear about opportunities here and think of me you can contact me…
- Romania
- Swaziland
- Brazil
- Uganda
- Peru
Hope you enjoyed the glimpse into my mind, and my heart, and some of the things I have been working through. I am not dismayed. I trust the Lord has a plan, a perfect plan for me, a perfect plan for you.
Blessings, dear reader.
