My parent’s split when I was 4, there is really no way else to say it. Like most kids that young I really didn’t realize what had just happened. All I really knew is that I didn’t see my dad anymore. We didn’t do much together though. He wasn’t the “go out in the yard and play catch” kind of dad. He wasn’t the “build a tree house” kind of dad either. Looking back now I’m not really sure what we did do together. I’m sure he loved me but I can’t remember a hug, a kiss, or anything else. I can’t remember him ever saying he loved me. I can’t remember any sort of affirmation or affection. All I can remember is him yelling, throwing things, and coldness. I don’t say all this to invoke some sort of pity party but to set the stage for the next 18 years of my life and for the amazing work God has been doing in my life over the last 5 days.
I didn’t realize that 18 years later I would still be dealing with the divorce and the lack of a father in my life but more than that I didn’t realize that 18 years later I would find a new dad in the least likely place possible.
While at training camp I learned that AIM (Adventures in Missions) assigns each squad a set of squad parents. Basically it’s a married couple that commits to pray for you all year and every 2 months they fly out to meet you on the field for a week long debrief. Their job is to be parents away from our home. To Love us! To pray for us! To just sit and listen to us if we need to cry! To be a source of encouragement but also a source of challenge. They are Deon and Rynette Vanstaden and they are GREAT at their job!
So jump ahead 3 months from training camp. I just finished my second month on the field. My team and I board a bus from L’viv Ukraine to a small village in Moldova for debrief. The 6-hour bus ride turned into a 14-hour bus ride. We spent close to 3 hours at the Ukraine/Moldova border but we finally made it to debreif.
Debrief is a time to do just that, debrief. But it’s more than that. It’s a time to rest. It’s a time to catch up with friends on other teams. It’s a time to have iron sharpen iron. It’s a time to encounter Jesus in worship. It’s a time to be honest. It’s a time to be real. Its just an overall great time.
On our second night of debrief my great world race dad Deon preached on our identity in Christ. It was such a timely message for many on my squad and I’m sure if you read some of their blogs you will find out how God changed there life’s through that message. But for me the moment came after the message where my amazing, Godly, discerning squad mom rennette spoke a word over me and said that she saw Moses in me. I said thank you and moved on. No big deal, or so I thought.
The next morning was a normal morning. A breakfast of fruit and bread was served… normal. I left breakfast and began walking across a field back to by bunk when Deon waved me down. Deon wanting to talk is the norm. The man is so full of Joy and he cares so much for all 57 of his kids on the race that talking, praying and serving only come natural to him. Well as soon as I clear the 50 yards between him and I the first words out of his mouth were “I just see so much of Moses in you”… My jaw probably hit the floor. I ask him if he knew that his wife had spoken the same word over me the night before. He smiles, and says he didn’t.
So what do I do? I do the only thing I can think of and grab my bible, open up to Exodus and start reading about Moses. I start in chapter 2 and little did I know at the time but I wouldn’t make it very far.
“Now a man from the house of Levi went and took as his wife a Levite women.”
Exodus 2:1
God spoke so clearly to my heart in the moment. As far as I know that’s all that Moses father is mentioned in the bible. And if we were going to compare my story with Moses my father would probably only take up one verse to.
I’ve known God as father for 9 years now but I’ve never really known what it means to be a son because I’ve never been a son. But I’m learning now and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Not only with God The Father but also with my dad Deon. Deon is the first father figure in my life to look me in the eyes and say that he loves me. He rarely calls me Adam because he’s to busy calling my destiny out of me by calling me “man of God”. He has no time to say anything discouraging to me because he’s dead set on telling me exactly how God has gifted me and how everyday he sees me growing in the Lord. He has no time to be selfish because he’s busy serving me.
I had high expectations of what God would do through the world race but I didn’t expect Him to give me the dad I always wanted and I didn’t expect I would be learning how to be a son all these years later.
“The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” Psalm 23:1
Even when God takes away, He never stops giving
