People have asked me what I have learned and happened from being in Albania/what the first three months of the race brought to me now that I am about to go to the Philippines. There have been a lot of things that have happened on this little farm that I didn’t intent or even want to happen. I think that that’s the beauty of Gods planning and not our own. We want things to take place like the idea of working with kids for a ministry or having God use me in different ways throughout a country but we focus on those things more than just letting God have his way. That’s what have learned the most, is to let Gods planning take control of the situation and not my own planning.
I came into the race wanting to work with just kids and woman. I have a passion for children and that’s the only ministry I have really done. I was planning on working with kids and helping woman who have come out of the sex trade but I never imagined that I would be stuck on a farm in Albania for three months. I didn’t plan on having God break my heart so it would be opened up for my team to see the things I’m struggling with or the pain I have carried for so long. I also didn’t plan on doing manual labor for 6 hours a day and figuring out how to talk with the people who work on the farm with me. However, I wouldn’t trade these things I didn’t plan on happening for anything.
God planned on my heart been stretched and me being thrown out of my comfort zone. He saw that I was comfortable in letting my church grow my relationship with him or letting my family guide me. Over the last three months I have learned to grow by myself to put effort into my relationship with him. God has put a thirst in my heart for more of him. I love waking up getting my instant coffee (which is awful but my only option) and reading/journaling each morning. I learned to not just grow a little but to long for continued growth with him. I love that my team mates, Victoria and Libby, have helped me deepen my relationships and heal and I know that of we weren’t on the farm I wouldn’t have had that time to let the healing enter my heart. Even though I would have rather been working with kids instead of weeding or scooping pig poop for 3 hours God had his perfect planning with placing us here.
So when people ask me what I learned over the three months I tell them that I have learned to let go of my planning or expectations and let Gods plans take control. I have learned to open up about my pain and let healing take place. I have learned to push deeper into Gods presence. I have learned to love things that I can’t control, and to just be where my feet are. I have loved being able to live on the farm and build relationships with the people here so leaving will be hard but I am excited for the new things that I will learn in the Philippines.
