I’m Home.
The clock struck midnight. I sat in the Istanbul terminal alone, away from the physical crowds but surrounded on all sides by the mob in my mind. Rubbing my forehead I prayed, harder than I’ve prayed in years, pleading with God for a breakthrough. “You’re home” He kept saying, “I’ve got you.” I tried to cross that threshold with all my might, but something impeded my entrance. In a moment of insanity, I tried and tried again. I could feel the air inside softly and so peacefully rush over my face, but what was holding me back? With just a taste of His atmosphere, I got up and made my way back to our gate.
I found a place in the corner and sat down, as my head made it’s way back towards my hands. Then she said, “You ok?” Looking up I saw Andrea sitting not a few feet from me with an expression of love and care on her face, “I’m alright” I lied. “You want me to pray for you?” she continued. Did she not get that I was “alright” I thought? “Um… sure that sounds good,” God murmured through my lips as I tried to hold back tears. She came over and sat next to me, putting her arm around me. “What do you want me to pray for?” “I… That God would do what I need… Breakthrough… Peace… His love…” I managed to get out.
Then it began… The best explanation of what occurred next was a display of His Power, Majesty, and Mystery, all wrapped up with a bow on top. Andrea prayed over me a soft, peaceful, gentle, powerful prayer as God’s presence and strength ran rampant through all of me. “You’re Home, my Son, I’ve got you,” He repeated over and over and over again. I had crossed the threshold from the outside world into our home, and the door was shut firmly behind me. I gazed up into His eyes, as His words permeated my entire being. Peace and freedom consumed me. I had let go and He had grabbed hold.
“And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)
The night sky radiated above me. Coming from the “Big Sky” back in Montana I can justify saying I’ve seen some top notch starry nights in my life. The desert, however, takes it to a whole new level!
As most of you know I spent the last few weeks in the Kalahari dessert just across the Botswana border in a small town called Bokspits. The 11 guys on our squad were sent there to build a roof for a local church.
The desert life is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. We slept in our tents and hammocks and packed in food and water from South Africa to cover us for the time there. Being that separated from society was incredibly refreshing! To literally be in the middle of nowhere with no distractions creates a great platform for transformation to take place, and that’s exactly what happened.
God took me to school, the school of Joy. As I worked and sat out in the scorching sun and heat of the desert I had to let go of my external feel and grab hold of some internal truth. Joy isn’t happiness. Happiness is a feeling; it comes and goes. To bank ones attitude towards ife on such a fleeting feeling is like purchasing a ticket to ride a never-ending rollercoaster, gets old real quick.
Completely random side note: My top three role models are Jesus, St. Paul, and Tim Tebow. When we were in Thessaloniki I was able to visit St. Paul Orthodox Church, which housed a relic of St. Paul. While we were in the church a Nigerian man who was doing the Paul tour tapped me on the shoulder. “You look like St. Paul,” he told me. Greatest complement I’ve ever received in my life!
So back to the joy thing. Philippians is my favorite book, and that’s exactly where I went in Botswana. If you look at Paul’s external environment and circumstances you’d think this would be real depressing letter. Sitting in a jail cell for years waiting to receive a sentence from a man who just murdered his own mother isn’t the most ideal situation. But that’s where true joy comes in.
I’ve been listening to a sermon series on Philippians and it broke down joy into 3 parts.
1st – Joy is the assurance of God’s sovereignty and Lordship. It’s an understanding and reflection on the reality of how great, powerful, awesome, and loving our God truly is!
“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting You are God.” (Psalm 90:2)
When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You car for him? (Psalm 8:3-4)
2nd – Joy is the assurance that He is intentional with each of us, supplying all our needs, caring for us, guiding us, and living life with us. It’s an understanding of the complete goodness and greatness of our Father and that He truly works all things for our good, past, present, and future!
But my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus! (Philippians 4:19)
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. (Romans 8:28)
3rd – Joy is the assurance that He has a beautiful and perfect script for our lives and that’ll He’ll walk beside us, guide us, protect us, and provide for us every step of the way!
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” (Psalm 32:8)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Joy isn’t a feeling, it’s a way of life. It’s a response to the absolute majesty and goodness of our God and Father!
So here’s where true freedom and peace come in! God’s got it all taken care of, and all He’s asking us is to come home to Him, it’s literally that easy! This frees us completely from worry and anxiety to Love God and Love His Children.
The whole thing is about relationship with Him, and out of that flows the abundant life He calls us into, a life full of freedom, joy, and peace! All we bring to the table is ourselves, and He supplies the feast!
I laid in my tent gazing up at the billions of stars strewn in the night’s sky above. “The God who breathed all this into existence is the same God that calls us His Children,” I thought, “that’s joy.”
I found God on the mountains in Greece, by the Aegean Sea, and now in Kalahari Desert. He’s everywhere and we’re never alone; that’s a truth I can rest in. We built a roof, and He built me a place to call home.
