It’s Sunday afternoon and I’ve been living with one of my teams in Santa Rosa de Copan, Honduras for only 3 days. I love it here. I’m madly enamored by the fostered/adopted Spangler children. Chatting with Matt and Marianne is like normal, funny, sarcastic, life-bringing life. Sleeping on a couch, floor, bed, who-knows-where tonight with 6 other women is pretty great, too. But what I really want to talk about is the realistic depiction of Squad Leader life. It’s a little bit of snuggles with kiddos, a little bit of painting or construction, a little bit of “normal” missions, but it’s a lot a bit of loving and fighting for this squad you’ve been given.
It’s almost the end of month 4 and it took about 2 months for something in me to change from “I’m their squad leader” to “These are my people.” Now I find myself a month away from splitting paths with O Squad and I can’t really talk about it without pain in my heart. So I’m not really going to talk about it.
What I do want to talk about is that feeling you get when people you love are pulled and pushed and poked and prodded and kicked while they’re down. What does that trigger? A definite “Hell NO” from me.
I believe in healthy life challenges. I’m leading 49 people on one of the biggest challenges of their lives, for goodness sake. But can we talk about the difference between CONDEMNATION and CONVICTION? One is straight from Satan and has a sole purpose of destruction. One is from a God who loves and wishes growth and life over us. One tells us we’re worthless, we messed up, we aren’t enough. One says we’re worth everything, we can walk in His image, and that’s why we’re MORE than enough. One tells us to stay down while the other spurs us to stand up in victory. Death vs. Life. We get ourselves in a lot of trouble when we confuse the two.
Since I woke up this morning I’ve burned through a whole lot of Honduran cell minutes connecting with each team across the country. That’s not abnormal. What I won’t accept as normal is the amount of straight up attack my squad is enduring. Weird hearing loss, trouble breathing, a broken foot, a plethora of sickness, discouragement with fundraising, loss of focus, frustration, loneliness, apathy, doubt….oo, those last two are big ones. As I write this one of my girls is in the middle of surgery in Tegucigalpa to remove her appendix. Good Lord, when it rains it pours. I’ve heard something about rain bringing corn which brings whiskey so…
All seriousness, none of this is insurmountable. In fact, that’s my very point, that we surmount the things that come against.
I get so angry hearing someone believe a complete lie about themselves and taking it as truth. Hell No. I’ve had the honor of watching each person on my squad hit the hard things without fear and break through to incredible growth in the past 4 months. I am not ok with them believing that all of that was for nothing or that they should give up. Of course they are fed the lie that this year won’t work or that they should quit. Think of what Satan wants to keep them from. It’s not ok. And I will fight it. I will fight for them.
Our fight is not against flesh and blood, even though we feel like it sometimes when this community doesn’t look the way you’d like it to. Our fight is against an enemy that brings death and condemnation. And to that enemy I say HELL NO. Not one of these people I love belongs to you.
I have this group text thread with three of my most favorite people in the whole world. I sent out a message to them earlier to ask that they join me in praying for and protecting O Squad. I would never hesitate in asking any of them for anything. That’s what home team means. Well I was met with more than I could’ve even expected. I’m so deeply loved, especially when people I love, love people I love. (re-read that if it didn’t make sense, slowly) Patty sent me this prayer for my squad and since I couldn’t have said it any better I leave you with this:
Jesus, I’m asking you right now to cover that squad with love and peace and a protective bubble of Holy Spirit. Give them a safe space to feel your truth and peace and kingdom. Let nothing in that is not of you and push out the things that are infecting the atmosphere and minds and bodies. I’m claiming victory for them. The presence of the kingdom as it stands redeemed and won. Peace, comfort and strength. Rise up Holy Spirit strength in each of them that they might fight for each other. The ones with more energy and breath giving it over to the ones with less. Let your body move and work and function as it was designed. Let this squad experience that reality tangibly right now. Life over all of them.
