So, Squad Leading. It's no joke. But it's also so, so wonderful. We're finishing up month one in the Dominican Republic. I'm currently spending some time in Santo Domingo with my coleaders, resting, showering, resting some more, spending much needed quality time together. Tomorrow afternoon the big group of O Squad will bus in, our coaches will catch a plane, and we will start our first debrief as a squad. Hard to believe it, but this year is well on it's way.
My favorite part of this month is simple: living life with this group. They make me laugh A TON, they challenge me often, and they love me so well. I spent a week and a half away from Dani and Ryan and lived with one of our teams in Santiago. While there, I started reading some work by one of my favorite authors out loud to the women in my room [Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist…read it.]. I came across a chapter entitled "Things I Don't Do." In it, she talks about wise words from someone in her life:
"It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about."
Truth. Shauna made a list of things she does and, more importantly, things she doesn't. I thought about this idea, and like so many times before, Shauna inspired me. In the midst of a major life transition, I thought it would be good to get these things on paper/screen.
Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves of ourselves, especially when our physical world is changing so often.
Things I Do:
- I submit my life to center around Christ. He gets the credit for bringing life to who I am and who I will be, what I've done or what I will do. I strive to love like He does and I look for the beauty of His redemption always.
- I try to multiply the number of times a day I can make a fool of myself or laugh uncontrollably.
- I call multiple places home. Whether it's Mom and Dad's back porch, Tiffany's breezy living room, or Freddie's balcony overlooking Mijas…obviously 'home' is more defined by people than places.
- I practice a life of Sobremesa. True community is done around a table, both figuratively and literally. We nourish our bodies by sharing big bowls of deliciousness, and we nourish our souls by sharing life and love with each other. I think that's a bit of what Kingdom looks like.
- I do care what pictures look like. No, I am not vain, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a little mascara and an elongated neck. #notimefordoublechins
- I celebrate things really well. I believe Gail gets that credit since I don't know many families that had a special April Fools Dinner. There's reasons to make a day special often, especially when I'm travelling. Being around the world the past few years, it's easy to get down about all the life I've missed at home. Instead I celebrate those days: my baby Livi from Spain, a wedding from Malaysia, a birthday from Peru or Ukraine or South Africa, an engagement from Swaziland…my next celebration will be the arrival of sweet baby Jack from Costa Rica.
- I do peace. Within our first few days here in the DR, gathered with Dani and Ryan, I prayed and listened, asking the Lord about what he has to say about me or about my 5 months as squad leader. "You are a Woman of Peace." I've never particularly been exactly that. I've been a woman that gets stuff done, or a woman who can tell some great stories, but not too sure about 'Woman of Peace'. Well, squad leading is stressful, but I got exactly what God promised…peace. He spoke it over me and then I spoke it over myself and then it was. Last week our translator pulled me aside and said, "Abby, I like the way you are. You are peace. You are firm and consistent and I feel like I could talk to you about anything." Best compliment.
Things I Don't Do:
- I don't justify my leadership style to people. Security in this season of life comes from knowing that I am appointed and anointed by my God, not others.
- I don't do beach activities, meaning volleyball, frisbee, etc. Beach is for laying, napping, laying, the occasional reading, laying, dipping in the ocean and repeat.
- I don't attempt to impress people. Whether with humor, wisdom, wittiness…fake or forced me is not the me I like. And that me isn't the me God intended.
- I don't assume that I will be the closest person to each person on O Squad. 50 people. I vow to love them deeply and be nothing above or beyond my true self. However, I will not be able to reach all of them. The ones I do, those will be a gift.
- I don't wash my hair often, even with constant shower access.
- I don't blog often, even though I'd like to. I'm letting myself off the hook for that one.
- I don't have the ability to FaceTime the large handful of people I love the most in life. That being said, Bruce and Gail get the first available slot when that internet access happens.
- I don't kill myself over pleasing the wrong people. I especially don't steal time away from the people that truly bring me life to appease the ones who don't.
I'll keep adding to these lists. But as I sit here, in this season, I've found how beneficial a little perspective can be. These are my words of perspective for myself. Thanks for letting me share them with you.
Bittersweet: "It’s brutal, making the list of Things I Don’t Do, especially for someone like me, who refuses most of the time to acknowledge that there is, in fact, a limit to her personal ability to get things done. But I’ve discovered that the list sets me free. I have it written in black and white, sitting on my desk, and when I’m tempted to go rogue and bake muffins because all the other moms do, I come back to both lists, and I remind myself about the important things: that time is finite, as is energy. And that one day I’ll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being.”
