This is a blog about struggle, real feelings, and raw thoughts.
Before I came on the world race, I watched countless videos, read many blogs, and heard beautiful stories from the racers that went before me. I excited myself with the thought of having an amazing adventure where every day I felt like I was really making a difference. I fantasized about the places we would go, the people we would meet and the love I would have for the culture I had never seen. The staff at Adventures in Missions tell racers over and over again in all the training, “Do not have expectations” and prepare you by saying “It will be challenging, demanding, and frustrating at times.”
They were right. The World Race is a beautiful thing, but it is a process, a process that causes you to be stretched and broken so you can be altered and put back together looking more like Jesus. I write my blogs to highlight the awesome events, stories, and emotions that I experience on the race, but I am learning to share the uncomfortable and challenging process as well. Traveling to a country, falling in love with amazing people as we share each other’s hearts and stories, and then leaving 4 weeks later is unbelievably painful. Saying goodbye to friends I might never see again and then having to start over and love the next group of people only a few days later, knowing I will leave them too, is my greatest challenge.
The World Race is a beautiful adventure, and my best decision, but I do not want to paint a picture of perfection and lack of struggles. There are some days I dread the ministry that I am doing, and some days I question if I am really making a difference at all. I question my ability to love people and share Christ with them. I feel the sting of spiritual warfare in forms of discouragement, self-criticism, and comparison. But in the midst of it all, I can see myself growing.
God is really working on my heart about vulnerability. He started getting my attention about this topic at training camp, and I really started thinking about the value of being open to others about weaknesses, struggles, and my past. Now that I am on the Race, I see how vulnerability is a foundation of the interactions between all of us. Opening up to the people around me about where I am at in my journey has opened up so many doors for God to move around us. This blog seeks to do the same.
So to the family and friends of a World Racer, I give this charge to you:
The World Race is hard. It is uncomfortable, challenging and leaves no room for selfishness. There are days that we might want to go home, don’t let us. There are days we will believe no one at home cares we aren’t there, encourage us. We may call, Skype, or email you crying about sick babies and unfairness, listen to us. But most importantly, pray for us.
Over and out.
Abby
