Random, isolated events and lessons tend to surge into my memory while on the Race. I’m not quite sure why, but my team will be reminiscing on family traditions when I’ll suddenly remember the way my mom would drive doughnuts in our cul-de-sac to make me laugh. I can recall in-depth conversations that I haven’t thought about in years; pictures from Christmases and birthdays and completely ordinary afternoons will pop into my mind without prompts.
It almost seems that, in the absence of daily interactions with my family and friends, my subconscious somehow steps in for them.
I find myself making mental notes to thank my dad for breakfast sandwiches that he’d put in my front seat during high school. I want to hug my sister for the round post cards she sent me while she was in college. When wifi is non-existent and my memory bank is all I have to draw from, I realize with surprising clarity that I have been given the gift of core people who have been constant and supportive, always.
In India, we attended nightly prayer meetings that included hours of Indian worship. No English. The same sounds… over and over and over. We were usually seated on a stage, so journaling or reading my Bible was out of the picture. I wanted to worship with the Indians! I desired hours of intimacy with my Savior; however, more often than not, I found my mind pondering the team’s upcoming schedule over the awesome nature of my Jesus.
This is where that whole random-lesson-popping-into-my-head thing comes into play. I remembered, years ago, sitting with my mom on her bed as she encouraged me in prayer. She told me to go through ACTS in my mind (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication) as I talked to the Lord.
One night in India, I could see this scene clearly, and I revisited the ACTS technique during an especially long set of Indian Jesus jams.
The confessing was not a problem in the sense that it lasted almost two whole songs. The Spirit did a lot of work in my heart during India… I was able to rattle off and repent of plenty of recent misgivings (mostly dealing with selfishness and entitlement). The thanksgiving, again, was easy. My family! My team! India’s beauty! My comfy flip-flops! The list went on and on. Supplication took the majority of my time in prayer as I realized the magnitude of my list of requests. I asked God for everything from a tenderhearted future husband to only having to eat ONE portion of rice after the meeting.
What struck me each night was the brevity of my time spent in the adoration phase of the prayer. I would throw up a quick, “God, you are so, so big. All I want is to be a wonderful designer, and YOU designed the WORLD. Way to go.” Then, I would jump into confessing the envy I felt when I was super sick and the rest of my team was eating ice cream.
As the month wore on, I caught myself in this pattern and tried my best to alter it. I know God doesn’t need my praise, but he did create me and sacrifice his son for my eternal welfare. Why don’t I fall on my face daily in humble adoration?! That’s what the multitudes are doing in Revelation 7. If this is what eternity will look like… there has to be more to it. Right?
Fast forward to Nepal. I am living in a cool city (wha-hoo, Kathmandu!) and teaching computer skills to Nepali Bible students. The majority of them look like Jonas Brothers doubles, and I don’t know whether to laugh or ask for an autograph.
Relationally, I love the students we get to teach. Aesthetically, this is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. Spiritually, however, my heart aches for this nation.
With every person I pass, I want to call out the Christian greeting, “Jayamasi!” This is, until, I notice the indicating mark of a Hindu. I give a quick, “Namaste,” and feel the now common pang of sadness at the empty beliefs.
While visiting the monkey temple, my stomach turned at the sight of the golden idols and prayers on flags being sent to them. God’s word came to my heart as anger and frustration flooded.
You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me. Exodus 20:4-5
Never before have I been able to put such a tangible picture with these verses. Just walking through the streets of Kathmandu portrays the warfare of this nation. Small idols, large Buddha statues and Hindi markings are everywhere.
It’s easy to be appalled by the idols when I serve the only living God. I wonder why anyone would put faith in something so worthless as I pray forgiveness and redemption over this nation.
Needless to say, adoration/worship has continued to be at the forefront of my mind as see people diligently worshipping false gods. In my quest for meaningful and consistent worship, I have been wondering a lot about what so often keeps me from looking upward. I’ve thought about idols that we serve like status and money and entertainment. The JoBro look-alikes reminded me of celebrity worship that is so common at home.
These are sneaky objects of affection in comparison to the statues that line the streets of Kathmandu, but they continue to capture my attention despite the knowledge of truth.
So what to do? Where to go? I was led to this passage a few days ago:
Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2
I don’t have to be constantly thinking about God’s majesty in order to be in worship. Just being willing to obey his voice and follow my convictions- that’s what I’m called to do. I want to fight my own personal idols as much as I desire to destroy the ones I see around me.
Still, the more I’ve been thinking about worship, the more I really do just sit in awe of his goodness and might. My mind more quickly jumps from the beauty and love I experience around me to the One who deserves the credit for it all.
Plus, it hasn’t hurt that I’m in Nepal and get to see these sights with these people…
Did I mention that I got to fly around Mt Everest yesterday? Yeah, the tallest peak on the right? It also happens to be the highest mountain in the world. God as a creator = blows my mind.
