(Never as good as it looks.)
It's not that I have more time than I did before,
living here in Texas,
it's that I spend my time differently.
I'm no longer tied to the responsibilities of college courses
homework, my job, most social gatherings..
It leaves a lot of time open for the brain to ponder,
for thoughts to wander;
to be wrapped up so deeply in my own head that
I just don't get the things I want to get done, done.
It's a blessing and a curse;
(well, it is a blessing,
I'm just the one who's a professional procrastinator.)
but no matter where I go,
no matter how much time I seem to have or don't,
no matter who I'm living with,
whether I'm feeling weak or strong,
he is still there.
His motives never change, only his tactics;
even then, they're still just a variation on a theme.
Sin.
This one's for you, Satan.
It would be nice if he just pranced around in red pajamas,
taunting you with his pitchfork;
but unfortunately he is smart enough to realize that flies are more attracted by honey than vinegar.
We aren't tempted by the things we don't like
we aren't drawn away by the things we hate
we aren't apt to compensate on the things we're not enticed by..
He uses our weak spots, he uses our sin,
he cheats and steals and lies, and promises you
a world of instant gratification
if only we would consent.
You could have it, friend.
See, it's not that bad; in fact, it could be great.
You could live in that moment, have that one thing.
Just one time couldn't be that bad.
Everyone else is doing it.
No one would even have to know but you.
Before you know it, you're considering things you may never have considered as a possibility before.
All of a sudden, that one thing looks *pretty good*.
It's in these moments, in the midst of temptation,
in all of it's hot, sticky, messy, pervasive nonsense
we are tried.
This is when our faith is defined.
See, faith is not lived out on our comfy couches,
feet propped, life going our way..
It's when life's not easy.
It's refined when we make decisions in the middle of deep temptation.
It's when we can say no to Satan and yes to the Lord.
It's when we can deny ourselves and walk in His ways.
It's when we recognize sin for what it truly is;
how it's dark, chaining, involving, decaying and distracting (a few among many descriptions).
This is when we're proven and legitimized.
This is when we see the glory of God moving through us,
accomplishing the things we would never do if left to our own devices,
because gray is just another shade of black.
Dealing with temptation: story of my life, highlight of my week..
Just as I am carried through a major spiritual battle (not by my own strength)
I am able to rest for one day
before he comes back at me again fully armed.
Satan knows my weaknesses perhaps even better than I do;
but this was such a frontal assault,
so plainly obvious that you would think it to be a no-brainer to just walk away from the situation.
However, just because something is obvious doesn't mean it's not still tempting.
I struggled for days with the situation I was presented.
I knew what was right and what was wrong.
Oh, I knew full well from the second the opportunity arose that I just needed to
walk away.
Days I did not make a move to say yes or no.
Naturally I complained and struggled.
I was faced with the reality of my own teeny, tiny strength.
True story: God's strength is immense and immaculate.
I prayed, I complained more, I laughed at my own insignificance and
rejoiced in the Lord's infinite loving-kindness.
He enabled me to walk way. Completely away
from this temptation that was nothing short of all-consuming.
Praise God for His incredible patience and long-suffering, especially with critters like me!
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
(James 1:2-4)
