Hey Readers!
Thank you so much for your continued spiritual and financial support of my mission! I’m so grateful for the many people in my life who remind me of God’s love for me and my insane, totally undeserved blessings.
Time is really flying on the mission front. In 3 short months I’ll be saying goodbye to a state that has become my home and many beautiful people that have blessed my life. In 4 months, I’ll be at Training Camp for the World Race meeting my teammates and getting my first experience of Adventures in Missions. And in less than 6 months…I’ll be embarking on one of the craziest adventures of my life so far.
I will officially be leaving on Aug 4th or 5th of this year for South America to travel across every country in the continent to be the hands and feet of Jesus! All this counting down has made something abundantly clear to me- time is such a gift and such an opportunity. And I have definitely spent a lot of the time I’ve been given waiting instead of living.
In the words of Pope John Paul II, “The future starts today, not tomorrow”. Yet, I find myself squandering my days “time traveling” 3, 4, 6 months into the future carrying with me the heavy load of my “what if’s”. Anyone who has ever fallen into this same trap will tell you- it’s a heavy load to bear. And Jesus tells us constantly, “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Clearly, we skipped several chapters in our life manual if we’re struggling to stay present to what he desires to give us in this exact moment. Because the future IS coming either way, but just how beautiful the journey is will be entirely up to us.
I’ve done a lot of thinking about why this transition has become increasingly challenging since I initially said yes to this mission year. Jesus has revealed to my heart the common denominator- a lack of trust. The truth is, I am pretty prideful about how much I believe I have a hand in my life’s direction. So yes, I have to admit- I’m one of those control freaks.
I’ll give Him an inch when things are really up in the air, but as soon as He reveals the next step, I start running. It’s like He wants to run a marathon for me and I want to make it a relay. He can go the distance and I can’t, but I can’t seem to help grabbing the baton from him 100 meters into the race. Then I wonder how I got hospitalized for heat stroke or a sprained ankle (go figure). The metaphor could go on forever but I think you get it. He can carry me through a beautiful journey, effortless for an all knowing and all powerful God- and yet, I’m more likely to exhaust myself trying to fill His shoes. The reason? Maybe because I don’t trust that He’ll give me what my heart desires so I have to do it myself. Or maybe it’s because I’m worried I’m not worthy of Him carrying me in the first place. Either way- I’m not doing it right. And I’m missing the beauty of allowing myself to be pursued and loved.
So here’s the point: I have a lot of things up ahead. I have a big move back to Virginia where my parents live to prep for the race come May. I have training camp in June. I have lots of fundraising to undertake. I have an official launch date in August.
But the more important thing that God is directing my attention to is the present moment, because that’s where God is dwelling with me. He is walking beside me, not 6 months ahead of me. He is giving me what I need for the day’s journey. He is guiding my next step. Walking with Jesus now will make me ready for whatever lies ahead. And I wouldn’t want to miss this journey for the world.
