Being in the Philippines made a
lasting impact on my heart. Not
only was it my first month on a 11 month mission trip that was going to change
my life forever but this month started the foundation of my race. This month whether I realized it or not
I chose YES to began being open and broken and brushing off the lies that I couldn’t
do it. But not only was my heart impacted
but 
clear imagery stays vivid in my mind. The smells (human waste, burning trash, car exhaust), the feelings
(sweaty, dirty, hope), the sights (the dump, people with nothing, children with
hope), these things pull on my heart when I reflect on my time in the
Philippines.
To be honest sometime the
Philippines can seem like a dream. As I daydream, drifting off into a flashback of my time there, first
time driving to the school inside the dump where the smell was unbearable, cleaning
out a library, playing with the street kids or walking through shacks where
people live inside big heaps of trash. The thing that keeps these from
dreams is that it’s not just a little
picture-daydream, but a full length, full sensory experience.
I remember thinking to myself, “if the race is going to be
this hard I wont be to make ten more months. Each day thirteen people compressed
into a truck-type car, singing praises to His name but is interrupted by a
sudden strange odor that seeps through our windows, not knowing how to react
when our eyes see this place these people live in. At the time, 22 years old with clean hair, clean clothes,
nice shoes and a nice camera walking into this place and receive nothing but
smiles. They had nothing. Their houses were made out of boxes
that we save for our next garage sale and their toys are paper bags from the
grocery story. Despite that, they
still had joy in their lives.
When people ask me what month was
my favorite, my heart can’t help to say THE
PHILIPPINES. I probably can
say that for many reasons. Yes it
being our first month, full of energy, ready to serve and see peoples lives
changed. But never in my wildest dreams did I think my first month was going to
be so hard but being able to see hope through the hard times. That these 
people that spend their day
digging through trash looking for things so they can survive. Not knowing anything different. They find contentment in that. It shows through their eyes and
smile.
This is where the post
finds me. I went on this trip and
my life was transformed. But yet I
got home and I began to yearn for contentment again. Contentment looked different then I wanted to see. Then contentment followed me to
Spain
and as I spend my six months here I have been challenged in what I truly
believe. To take these things that
I have been taught and fight for understanding in my own heart. It’s a balance. To be content in what I know but yearn
for contentment in things the Lord wants me to understand. I cannot help to think about the people
going through the trash everyday. Content in how they live but their faces and eyes show a different
contentment then their actions show. And I am overjoyed that it has and will continue to make an impact in my
walk with Christ
