Before World Race training camp I used to think I was strong. I thought it was a good characteristic that I could hold my emotions in well. Little did I know that throughout my life I had just become really good at stuffing my emotions deep and hard until I became numb. I went to training camp mentally prepared for situations like sleeping outside for 10 days straight, bucket showers, and eating meals with my hands; however, I did not come mentally prepared to stretch myself on the inside.
At training camp, we were asked to take a deep look at personal lives. We were asked to be vulnerable with God, ourselves, and even our squadmates. This is something we need to be able to do, especially in this next year of ministry. I learned about how much I fear feeling. I learned how much I struggle processing emotions especially because I have such a negative view of feelings.
Now being realistic, I know I am not naturally an emotional person, but I learned that numbing myself to emotions can also numb me to the reason why I’m here in the first place- God’s love.
I realized in the middle of training camp what my sacrifice is really worth compared to the love and presence of Christ. I learned about how little I physically need and how much of Christ I really need to live. God’s love is sufficient. He not only has a plan for me, but an eternal love that He wants me to receive.
I think somewhere in the process of following and trusting God in this next step of my life, I forgot about embracing God’s love. I forgot about finding joy in the everyday right where I am. I’ve been focusing on the sacrifice of leaving my home, my friends, and my security instead dwelling in God’s love and His plan for me. I forgot to find joy in the fact that God is taking me on this adventure.
I hope this excites you because this adventure isn’t just for me. It is for you too! He loves you and He has huge plans for you too. Just accept His love and run with it!
Here are three (very different) pieces of scripture that have been reminding me of what God’s love should look like in my life.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Psalm 16:11
“For if we are out of our mind, it is for God; if we have a sound mind, it is for you. for Christs love compels us, since we have reached this conclusion: If One died for all, then all died. And He died for all so that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for the One who died for them and was raised.”
2 Corinthians 5:13-15
“But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.”
Malachi 4:2
God’s love is a gift. It brings freedom. It is radical. Once you accept it, it is transforming. It compels you to go out of your way to love others. It brings you fullness of joy. It brings you so much joy that you leap like a cow.
God’s love is taking me on this adventure and I have never felt more prepared.
