This whole process seems a little daunting, as I prepare myself for a journey around the world with 50 or more strangers with the purpose of telling the nations about Christ. I find myself stuck between 2 rotating emotions: exctiment and sheer terror.
I think about the things that at one point were impossible in my mind:
Raising $15,500
Packing everything I need for the year in a 50 pound backpack.
Ministering and preaching to strangers.
Putting aside my selfish desires for the advancement of the Kingdom.
A few days ago, it hit me while reading through a passage in Galatians. I have this mindset that I am the one who should be in control of everything. Everything inside of me craves control, security, and happiness. When I come to the end of myself, I realize that I ultimately have limited control, life is full of uncertainty, and that happiness is circumstantial.
In Galatian 3 Paul calls the Galatians out on their lack of faith even after witnessing firsthand the crucifixtion of Christ. He chastises the Galatians saying "Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?". I can't help but think that so many times that is my attitude, to try to do everything in my own strength and human effort.
What we don't realize is that when we finally reach the end of ourselves and look to the maker of the universe we can finally have the satisfaction we long for. He fulfills that deep longing inside of us for something more. If we trade in our false sense of control, security, and longing for happiness, he promises to work all things together for our good, have an eternal security and joy independent of our circumstance.
