Hello everyone!!!
On July 7th, I made the drive to Gainesville, Georgia for Training Camp for ten days. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. As I drove, I was continuously doubting myself and my abilities. Doubts that I would not have what it takes and that they would ask me to leave. Doubts that I would not make any friends. Doubts that I was all around incapable of this journey. What I thought was going to be the hardest ten days of my life ended up being some of the best ten days of my life. And the only explanation I can give for that is Jesus. As I look back and reflect on everything that happened over Training Camp, the one word that the Lord keeps revealing to me to describe the week is beautiful. Of course one would think “Ha, right. What’s beautiful about 43 people constantly sweating in the Georgia heat in July?” But trust me, there really is beauty in it. Because we were all in it together as brothers and sisters–laughing through the body odor and greasy hair and red clay stained everything.
Beauty was all around Training Camp because beauty is in the brokenness and the messiness. And that’s where God shows up the most. He’s moving and working when we’re most vulnerable and most uncomfortable. He wants us. He wants us unstripped of our masks. And He wants us to give Him our hearts and let Him mold us. That’s beauty in it’s purest form. On the very first night, the founder of Adventures in Missions, Seth Barnes, talked about how we are all a mess and that they embraced it here. And if we haven’t realized that we’re a mess, then we would this week. And boy was he right.
Throughout the course of multiple sessions, the same points were shouting to me. The different speakers talked about how we feel like we have to do something in order to be accepted. And that we don’t like to show the ugly parts of ourselves, but the only way we reach true affirmation in God is if we do show those ugly parts. They also stressed that we can’t give away what we don’t have. One quote that hit home with me was “We compartmentalize ourselves because we know what gets love and what doesn’t.” And God showed me that I do just that. He showed me that I’ve been putting on mask after mask, trying to be a perfect person and be the person that people need or want me to be. And I realized that after years of doing this and never really feeling true acceptance, that I don’t love myself.
“How could I show love to all of these people I’m going to meet on the Race if I don’t love myself?”
“Why can’t I just accept my Father’s love for me and let that be enough?”
So the Lord worked in every angle to get to that point and it was messy at times. But it was beautiful.
And now, everyday, I try to find the beauty in every person and situation. And beauty in myself. My heart yearns to be like the heart of the Father–seeing people through His eyes and with grace and love and mercy. And seeing myself the same way.
So here’s to the beauty of Training Camp!!!!
- There’s beauty in bucket showers surrounded by all your girls. On the last day someone said “You know, I’m really gonna miss taking bucket showers with everyone. I enjoyed the talking and community it brought.” Never would I have thought bucket showers would be a beautiful thing, but there it was.
- There’s beauty in falling asleep in your tent listening to the voices and laughter of your teammates.
- There’s beauty in your squad’s generosity when we join together and lend our things to a teammate in need.
- There’s beauty in hearing so many voices worshipping our God unrestrained.
- There’s beauty in my teammates and their beautifully broken stories.
- There’s beauty when they have the courage to share their testimony unfiltered and raw. We are all so different and come from varying backgrounds, but yet we are all here. No matter how we got here, we’re here and we’re all desiring the same thing. And that desire is the desire of our Father.
- There’s beauty when you’re served a meal without plates and silverware and everyone just embraces it and digs in–dirty hands and all.
- There’s beauty when you’re surrounded by people who also scream and flail when someone says the words “dance party.”
- There’s beauty in the encouragement from your teammates as we did the fitness hike.
- There’s beauty when you witness chains of past sins being shattered, hallelujah.
- There’s beauty in holding your friend’s hand as they get tattoos that are special and significant to them on the night we’re supposed to “make a memory.”
- There’s beauty in watching your squad wake up throughout the night to worship Jesus.
- There’s beauty in 43 strangers becoming family in just ten days.
I could go on and on about the ten days that changed my life. The ten days that brought me my new self. My new self in Christ through His love. And the ten days that brought me my family. If you have any more questions and wanna find out more please talk to me!!!
I will be reunited with them on September 8th when we launch!!! Ahh that’s craziness, but I’m so excited and have such a peace coming out of Training Camp. We will be headed out to Costa Rica first! If you would like to partner with me on this journey and make sure I get to launch, please consider donating. I have $4,650 left to meet my deadline of $10,000 by August 19th. All help is so appreciated!
Joyfully in Christ,
Abbey
