Last week Team Ignite along with my family set out for the area of Kuna Yala. It’s an area of nearly 40 inhabited islands off of the northern coast of Panama. Although the ride was long and rough to get there (a bumpy back of the truck ride and a small wooden boat), we arrived safely. The Kunas are one of the larger indigenous groups in Panama and can be clearly distinguished all over the city by the clothes they wear. When we arrived on one of the islands, it was what we had desired for a long time…..isolation and “rural”. Team Ignite would be sleeping on the concrete floor of the church while my parents stayed in hammocks in a small hut. The bathrooms were outhouses set over the ocean. They blocked off an area of the water for the bathroom but it still felt kinda weird because it’s…ya know….the ocean. Anyway, all of that to say it was very different than what we’ve experienced aside from maybe Thailand at the beginning.
We met with the pastor who spoke both Spanish and Kuna. His name is Pastor Rafael Canto. He has been pastoring on this tiny island for quite a while and it appeared that he had some teams come prior to our visit. Regardless, we were very excited about being with “indigenous” people. We met with him to plan out what kind of ministry we would be doing throughout our stay and then made preparations. For the majority of the time, we would be working with the children who did not speak neither English or Spanish very well, only Kuna. This was quite a task for us. Here I was thinking I would be of good “use” to my team with a Spanish degree and God completely decides to do something else. With that being said, I learned something very important.
While we were finishing up in Africa, Team Ignite spent some time doing what we call listening prayer. We passed out sheets of notebook paper to record what the Lord was saying to us about an unknown teammate of ours. We passed out names of all of our teammates without revealing who’s name we had drawn. We than began to pray and listen. It’s amazing what God actually teaches us when we’re willing to listen.
What came from this is what was prayed about me without knowing it was for me. Seth had my name and this was one thing he heard:
Simple as it sounds, it was exactly true because I didn’t believe that I necessarily had that gift. Let alone for children. Since we’ve been in Central America, my heart has been burst open for the children. I can imagine what our Father must feel when he holds us or the ones who feel unloved and not cared for. He’s a daddy. He showers mercy and compassion on his children. I’ve only received just a taste of what he must feel like when we look into his eyes with complete trust and faith. It must make him cry with tears of joy…it must.
So it’s easy for me to relate to young boys and play games with them and such. The more difficult thing has been for me to interact with young girls. But both of those changed on this small trip to Kuna Yala. Through what the Lord has been teaching me, I’ve simply learned to love. To give them a big hug. To be gentle with them. To look them in the eyes and tell them that I love them and that more importantly their Father in heaven loves them. The relationship changes from a simple acquaintance to deep understanding of how we’re created to be. To care deeply for one another. For our hearts to break when others’ hearts break. For us to celebrate when they celebrate. And to love them all the way through it.
Anais captured my heart from the moment she gave me the cutest of smiles. Instantly, I felt the love of the Lord flowing through my veins. Every time we were doing something, whether it was playing Settlers of Catan or playing guitar, she was there. She desired to be around us. So I always wanted to include her. I imagine God is the same way with his big plans. He’s always doing something, I just want to be there with him and be a part of it. In doing so, it brings a huge smile to his face much like it did mine with Anais.
The little boy that I adored was quite different. He reminds me more of what my relationship with the Lord has been like. Sometimes he would grab my hand and walk hand in hand with me, and at other times he would try to be cool and punch me in front of his friends and walk away. When he would do this, I could still see in his eyes that he was saying, “Hey, I still love you, but for right now, I need to do this.”
So many times I’ve told God that I’m in. Whatever he says goes. Then other times I operate on my agenda all the while saying that I still love him. Now, God eagerly desires for us to want to be with him completely and not halfheartedly. However, He’s not himself unless he operates under the grace he offers us. When we push him away, he’s still there to say “hey, I’m gonna hug you no matter what.” That’s what I learned. I knew the little guy loved me. And I loved him. I knew he would come back because he remembered what it was like to be loved unconditionally. So it is with us and our Father. We know and we return because we can’t help it once it’s been revealed to us. What a joy it must be to be a father to all who recognize him as one. Sure it’s painful at times, but it is so rewarding when your children want to be “in”. 
Father, thank you for loving me through the times that I hold your hand and through the times that I “punch” you. Thank you for chasing me down just to hold me there and hug me. I love that about you. I adore you. Thank you for amazing grace. Thank you for giving me a heart of compassion for these kids in Central America. To love them unconditionally.
Right now, a few from Team Ignite are staying with Team Beloved One in an orphanage. Pray for us as we are building relationships with these children. These are the ones who feel the most “unloved”. Pray that they feel the love of God flowing through us.
