Ever get that queezy, uneasy, or scared/sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? It happens for many reasons, big decision, big game, trying something new etc etc. Really to sum it up it comes down to being unsure of yourself or how a situation may progress.
Ever been there? Of course. We all have.
Well friends I’m there again.
I’m unsure of the future.
I’m unequipped and incapable of changing it.
So much has changed in my family’s and my own life recently.
Within a week or so we saw my Grandpa go in for a more serious surgery, my Grandma (better known as ‘Ma’) pass away and our working lives change drastically. I wish I could explain that to you better. My life has held a lot of uncertainties lately.
I’ve never been one for a structured or scheduled way of life, although some is nice, but when every avenue of the best known parts of your life disappear or change a lot it isn’t just a walk in the park. I have felt lost this past while – unsure of where to head.
Nothing described my feelings/thoughts better than the various lyrics penned by Matt Maher:
“Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You”
Everything I knew from humans had failed me but there is still God. I had God and a couple of His blessings left – a few good friends and one very good family. I’m so thankful for them. My friends and family have helped me cope but God has been my strength and He continues still.
I’m going to give God the praise here for a few things:
1) My Grandpa came through surgery successfully and is recovering well.
2) My Ma’s passing was peaceful and timely with the family gathered around. A wonderful couple of days followed with seldom seen cousins hanging out like it was the good ol’ days. The visitations were fun and filled with laughter celebrating a life well lived. People commented that they found us by the noise. Then an amazing funeral service was held for a beautiful lady where her “aroma” (legacy) was talked about. Yes, you had to be there for that to make sense. The internment that Friday was great! We ended it, gathered around her casket and smiled with Ma one last time and celebrated her life! Peace and joy were everywhere! A peace and joy only known from God’s hand. He blessed our family.
3) The work situation – still in progress.
4) Fundraising – It has been slow mainly but recently friends and family have donated some money which is inspiring for myself and a huge blessing!
Although I am still waiting on God in some ways in the work situation and my fundraising I know He is faithful.
I can relax and trust in Him because He promises to be our refuge and strength.
Psalms 46:1 – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
No, I don’t know what will happen in the future; or how certain things I had worked out will come to fruition; and am I scared? Yes!
BUT I will trust the all-knowing (omniscient), all-powerful (omnipotent), ever-present (omnipresent) God to handle my future.
Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
And as Psalms 119 assures us God’s word is trustworthy.
I need 625 donations of $20 to be fully funded! Would you please prayerfully consider being one of my 625?
