Before you read any further, please make sure you read this blog first.
I decided not to ultimately pursue going to the places on my heart, because I felt I needed to be responsible and pay off my debt from my undergrad. I have a total of $45,000 or so in student loans and parent-plus loans.
I did attempt to go to South Korea to teach English, but instead I ended up in Texas as a houseparent for foster kids. My time in Texas was a way to shovel as much as I could into making a dent in my debt. I did make a dent. I just think it popped back out seconds after I left Texas. Ridiculous!
Now…now, however, after spending two weeks at a place I love with people I cherish in Georgia, the embers have kindled and the fire has breathed again, a dragon under the mountain!
You see, the last four months of my Race God began to speak about London and stir a passion in me to go and visit such a grand country. Why, you ask?? I have no idea. Month 10, in Tanzania, God told me, “I’ll show you when you get there.”
Yeah, I know…I stood there in shock of those words. I’m pretty sure I felt scandalized! The absurdity of such words.
Anyways, I haven’t made it to London yet and so I do not know what He has for me in such a beautiful country!
One of my new friends I met, Drianna Litton, while on serve team, spoke some words to me after I told her about the call to go to London,
“Just go then.”
I cannot explain it, but such words have echoed in the very fabric of my tapestry’s soul and I cannot shake them.
Regardless, I have gone to my Abba in prayer asking why such a fire now exists again to go when I do not have my debt paid off yet, since for the better part of my time in America I have felt the urge to be responsible and pay off the debt before I go out into the nations again.
His response, “Son, it was never about you getting the debt paid off, but you trusting me and being obedient to my lead.”
Interesting. I have spent the majority of the last few years under stress of this responsibility and I’ve tried to do it all by myself and then He spoke again to my heart,
“Son, I didn’t ask you to do it by yourself. It is okay to ask for help and assistance. Why do you think I created humanity FOR each other?”
I see. Heart check, yet what to do?
Stay tuned for the reality of what such words have done to spur my desire to go once more.
