Ending Mongolia and the email about them getting ready to buy tickets home makes me realize that this part of my life is about over. The World Race hasn’t been all what I expected it to be. I feel like it has defiantly stretched me, made me into a better person/Christian. God has taught me about who he is, and what it truly means to trust him, to obey him, to live a Christian life and that I do it poorly but that doesn’t stop him from loving me, and giving me grace because he chose me. The race has made me question everything I know. Shown me I have a habit of putting God in a box when things don’t logically make sense. I don’t share what is going on with me very well, that I am a very private person. That I love alone time and didn’t realize how often I had it before. It has shown me that I can feel forgotten and alone. That I sometimes lack confidence but I desire to be brave and courageous.
One thing that is different than I thought it would be is that it makes me want what I had back, but also that I will be losing something that I have to have it back.
It makes me want to be home with all of my clothes… all my Kansas Jayhawks shirts, even all my lovely blue shirts ;), with the favorite yellow shirts. All my dresses and skirts, the jean and cotton shorts, all the different shoes, I am tired of wearing all the same clothes day after day. I am tired of the 13 hour time difference between home and me. I miss being able to go to Braums on Wednesday nights, I miss the Mexican food, I miss all the little kids who come to VBS and wanting them to enjoy it as much as I did when I was there age. I miss Sunday school and Church, I miss being around the people who truly know me and know my crazy, watermelon ball side… I miss being Commander Amander, Panda, Manders. I miss the late night runs to sonic on Ice Cream dates that we end up talking about any and everything. I miss the inside jokes. I miss being a part of my nieces and nephew life. I miss my bed there is truly no bed like it.
The race has also has made me realize dreams and to bring them back to life. It has shown me I haven’t ever been part of a community like this before, that pushes me to grow, who encourage me in my weakness, see greatness in me and call it out, it has made me realize I have been missing out on that tightness of group of people my own age at home. Made me realize I don’t know what I will be going home too. Sure I will be going home to everything I just said I missed. But what will I be losing? So there are pros and cons to doing the world race and to coming home. I have four months left and am excited to see what God has for me. so who knows where I will be in four months. we shall see..
