Location: Masai tribal village in the Great Rift Valley of Kenya, 3 hour drive in a Land Rover from the closest town. I guess you could call say we lived in the bush of Africa.
Ministry: Preach, pray, and evangelize.
As the first week of ministry came to an end we realized we had just preached 7 times, most of which was to the same 5-10 people that would show up at church, and were scheduled to preach another 8 times to the same group the following week. There was just something about this that did not sit okay with me. I felt so uneasy about our ministry this month. What we were doing was great, the Lord called us here to pour into and encourage the church…but there was more He was calling us to, there was something we were missing. Talking about loving others is great, but it does nothing unless you go and love. As I talked to my teammates about it, the Lord made it known on my heart that if I didn't say anything and ministry stayed the same for the remainder of the month, that I would be deliberately disobeying the Lord. So I talked to our contact and shared with him what the Lord put on my heart. You see, a few days earlier during morning prayer, the Lord gave me a vision: To pour into the strong/dedicated members of the church, so they can continue to pour into those who attend and reach out to the lost in the village. Matthew 18 – the parable of the lost sheep.
One of the things we got to do was give a seminar focusing on reaching out and sharing the love of Christ with those in the village that don't know His love for them. Then we split into groups and went out into the village with them. As I was sharing the gospel, I lost my words and felt as though my words were insignificant holding no meaning. I also began to realize that most of my teammates had led people to Christ this month, but I have not. I felt so exhausted from sharing and praying over others yet feeling as if I had no “fruit.” The Bible tells that those who abide in the Lord have fruit. Do I not abide in the Lord?
Okay, so I know the answer to that question. I do abide in the Lord, I am His, and I am marked with His seal. But, I had been allowing myself to listen to the Enemy's lies. I was hearing the Lord so much more than I ever had in the past; but with that, the Enemy being scared, started speaking lies into my head. Just before I shared this with my team, one of my teammates said this:
“The Lord want's you to know: our fruit is your fruit. We wouldn't have gone out to share Christ if it weren't for you obeying the Lord's voice. You were the eyes of the team this month. The Lord gave you a vision and you acted on it. If you had chosen not to, then we wouldn't have had any of the fruit we do.”
Perfect! That was exactly what I needed to hear! I am learning to distinguish the Lords voice, from my voice, from the Enemy's voice. Which doesn't really make much sense, you would think that would be obvious…not always. But I have been experiencing the presence of the Lord in a way I never have before. We have access to the throne room of God. We can sit in the presence of our Father.
The Enemy is not allowed in the throne room. My old self is not allowed in the throne room. So when I get confused between them, all I have to do is enter the throne room of my Dad and sit in His presence. It's a growing process, but I continue to hear the Lord more clearly as Im drawn closer and closer into His presence.
