Preparing for the World Race, a lot of my thoughts have pondered the mother's perspective. Other-mother's, please know these same thoughts and feelings you are about to read are also directed towards you from the heart of your son/daughter. On behalf of perhaps silent thank-you's, thank-you.
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Mom, I've had this written since Calgary, but I wanted to wait for the timing of things.
Dear Mom,
Thank-you for all you've done to get me to this point.
But before I get into that, here's a thought: Some of my friends are having babies of their own. I guess I'm at that age where I think twice about that. I stop and wonder what those little movements in my belly would feel like, what it would be like to look into brand new eyes, to realize that he/she is all mine! What a privilege to be a woman. All those moments when I'll get to nurture my own little one. A bond will be made as strong as Heaven. A mother and a daughter.
When I think this, I stop and I realize, that was us first.
I was "baby girl Van". And you, you took delight in me. You loved me first, you knew me first. You planned for me and put me ahead of yourself. You protected me, cared for me. You took me everywhere, you slowed your life down for me. Years have gone by and I know that you prayed for me, made good choices for me, sacrificed for me but always out of love. You've consistently come through for me.
Now I'm 23. And you, you've seen your youngest grow from first steps to first real job. You've seen me sick, you've seen me tired, you've seen me stressed, you've seen me sad. And it's your arms that I always want first, that have always comforted me the most. You are my home. You've also seen me change, you've seen my full personality, you've seen me learn, you've seen me succeed. And it's your face that lights up the most, your voice that always speaks encouraging words.
The transition into adulthood has been rocky at times, and I'm sorry for that. But I want you to know Mom that you've done an awesome job as a mother. I'm so proud of you. You've done EVERYTHING, you've EQSed (for those who did not go to high school with me – that's code for 'exceeded quality standards') the heck out of your mothering role. God paired you and I expertly. I don't want anyone else. We have our own jokes, our own laugh, our own way, and that will never change.
I wanted to thank-you publicly because I wanted my thank-you to be really big. Thank-you for taking me seriously, for exploring World Race, researching and helping me think through all the steps it takes to leave home for a year, for learning Facebook and Skype (we did it!). Thank-you for seeking out ways to help me pack. Thank-you for being slow to take offense, quick to help, eager to be involved, patient to spend time with me, and always, always, in my corner, helping me succeed.
But more than that, thank-you for what you've done to raise me to be who I am today, so that I can go. Thank-you for the strong foundation you've laid so that I can prosper. Thank-you for correcting me, teaching me, laughing with me.
Thank-you for letting me go. You are braver and stronger than you think. This Race is as much for you as it is for me. You and I, we are more similar than I let on. Mom, embrace the next few months with a smile, and know that I'm smiling back at you wherever I am. I'll miss you like crazy, but you know what Oven, we can do this.
I love you forever, I love you for always.
Now. Wipe your tears, the worst part is over (the goodbye). Let's get a move on, we both have lots to do this year!
