I woke up with questions and a little doubt about if its all worth it. If I should have stayed being a christian where it was comfy and less demanding of me emotional and physically. Those thoughts just kept swirling my brain all day and then we spent the day cleaning and organizing donations which you can imagine didn’t really make me feel that close to God. I know this is where I’m suppose to be, but I’m starting to realize that truly amazing spiritual endeavors don’t just happen without doubt, fear and anxiety, but its what I do with those emotion that make all the difference. So as I rolled my eyes wishing I could just see my friends and family…I glanced up at the sky and asked God to show me why I’m here and to diminish my doubt. After dinner we had a Wednesday night church service where two of my friends where going to share their testimonies….as I sat and listened to them pour out their hearts I began to become inspired of how big my God really is. My God is the God who can bring people out of depression where doctors and medicine couldn’t. When people say just “choose happy” I can’t help but think how stupid that is. How can someone who is going through so much pain and hurt just choose how it effects them all on their own. You really can’t…you can look at the positive, but if you don’t know Jesus where is the positive in low self worth, cancer, and sexual abuse. Thats when God diminished my doubt because I knew that no drug, doctor or counseling can truly take those situations and allow joy to be found through them like Jesus can. If He can make people who viewed themselves as worthless feel like princesses then thats reason enough for me to keep demanding more emotional and physical work out of myself. Who needs comfy when lives are on the line? After they wrapped up their testimonies we went out on the street of Medellín to do homeless ministry. I was so thankful that I went into the street with the encouraging examples of how God can transform lives because I needed those testimonies that exemplified light while walking into such a dark situation. I saw people that where so high on cocaine that they couldn’t even function like humans. I saw people get in physical fights over scrapes of food. I saw people who desperately needed Jesus. In the midst of all this chaos I felt at peace and I could hear God saying “Allie I love these people just like I love you” and with that I was able to minister to God’s people and offer information about the City of Refuge. A ministry that lodges the homeless and provides a year long drug rehabilitation program.While I was walking the streets with one of the women who helped with the program she leaned over and told me that she too use to live on the streets and after she told me that I began to look at the men and women scattered on the curbside differently. I began to see potential in the eyes of the men and women who held on to their pipes like that single object was their only purpose to live another day. I’ve been living with the men who have graduated from that same drug program for about 2 weeks now and its unbelievable to think that the same men who lift their hands up and praise God with undeniable authenticity every Sunday once held the same pipe.
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