I hope you caught from the title how random this blog is going to be. I hope you're okay with that!
I have been completely astounded by God's faithfulness recently. I kind of made God (never a good idea, people) a deal after Training Camp telling Him that the biggest indicator that I am supposed to go on the Race will be this deadline coming up on June 15th. I had $3,500 in my account at the time and needed to raise $3,000 to even be able to leave. I was pretty sure it wasn't going to happen, honestly.
God decided to work beyond my lack of faith and hopelessness and just blow my mind. I have been getting many unexpected donations and fundraising opportunities and I am so just amazed at who God is. How He can make the seemingly impossible situation so very possible. I've gone through so much growth through this process of fundraising and I wouldn't change it for the world. It's such a humbling experience! It's so against my character to say, "I can't do this on my own, I need you" and that has been what this whole process is about.
Surrendering and having faith in who God is is a moment by moment choice. It's not a "pray one prayer and accept Jesus in your heart" thing like so many of us have embedded in our hearts. It's looking into each moment and each situation and choosing to trust that God is in control (I'm posting the Twila Paris song with that very title at the bottom of the page. I've been known to sing that song around campus and in random coffee shops around Rome. The music video is SO strange, but the truth of this song is so incredible. Let it be stuck in your head and its truth sink into your heart!)
As I was working out this morning some Switchfoot started playing. A line that has always struck me on their newest album is, "Every breath you take is not yours to own". That just tears me up. That breath I just took and that breath you just took was never meant for you to use for your own plan. It was never meant to allow you worldly success and the American dream. These breaths that have been given to us are all meant for God's glory. He has given us EVERYTHING. How often do we thank Him for the simple gift of life? I know I don't really think about it much. How desprately my flesh wants to take control of all of my breaths and do what would make Ally Blackwell the happiest and most comfortable. But I was never, ever made for that. Believe me, I've tried it.
Have you? Has taking each breath for your own glory REALLY ever satisfied you? Or does it leave you gasping for the next thing? America is overwhelmed with the idea of more. We are always looking for the newest car, the iPod with the newest technology, and the perfect relationship to fill us. But within such a small amount of time, we are wanting the next greatest thing.
I've seen this bondage in my own life countless times. I am so thankfu to have been woken up and freed from them though. They are such wonderful reminders of how I was not made for this world. I was made to die to myself and seek after Christ. He will ALWAYS satisty. "Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things" Psalms 107: 8-9 I love how this verse isn't written in past tense. It's written in present tense. He satisfies and fills.
So as each day that comes brings me closer to the World Race, it's all becoming so real. As I look into the faces of the people I love, I start to see how short our time together is becoming. Questions start flooding my mind and worries start surfacing. Will Adam and I get to go on many more brother/sister dates? How many more family dinners wil I get to be a part of? Will Zach and I be able to have those nights full of laughter when I get back? How many more times will I get to go visit Rome before I leave? I don't know the answer to all these questions, but I do know this unknown season of my life is known by the Creator the universe and He knows what's best. Will it look like I want it to? Probably not, but God is in control.
Fundraising update: THANK YOU to everyone that is donating and supporting me! God is so crazy good! I almost have all the money in my account for the June 15th deadline, but I still have more than $9,000 to raise! Please consider giving! The easiest way to donate is by clicking the link on the left that says "Support Me!"
