So there are a lot of things I love. One thing I really love is when I read a verse 100 times and then, bam, revelation strikes me like a rod of lightning! All of a sudden this brighter bulb turns on and now this verse I looked at the same way for so long, now, somehow, magically, has a whole new meaning.
This happened one nite as I felt led to read James chapter 1.
I have always focused on verse 2 about how I am to count it all joy when I face trials; then I usually bypass the following verses that tag on to this charge.
…for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1.3-4)
There have been many times in my life when I have wanted to just give up on things because it wasn’t comfortable or easy. Honestly, being in Africa makes me want to just go back to what I am used to more often than not. Thanks America for making me addicted to comfort! James, on the other hand, tells me to count it all joy when faced with trials. I don’t think I ever fully comprehended why I should feel delightful when going through hardship (seeing as my American mindset always got in the way) … until now (thanks Africa).
I’ve realized that this whole World Race thing is making me unlearn what this journey called life is really all about. The Kingdom I live for is not of this world, and completely upside-down, so when I am told to embrace problems, my natural response is to question why, and then complain and have pity on myself. So often I instinctively ask ‘why me’, but I’m realizing that this mentality should not be my focus; it shouldn’t even be a thought really.
I think the important factor to focus on should be what I do in the midst of my trials:
Sulk and reject
or
rejoice and embrace.
Honestly, being in Ghana was probably one of the hardest months since being on the race; I felt like I got to a point where I had gone through so much that I had changed enough to leave the race. Oh, how foolish I am at times! God firmly, yet lovingly, told me I could go home if I wanted to and I would be blessed, but if I went home I wouldn’t receive the rest of what He has for me here and now. Yea, I can give up and give in to my emotions, but God has more for my life. If I left now, all I would be doing is robbing myself of all that God has in store for me… I wouldn’t be letting steadfastness have its full effect in my life because it comes through the trials I face.
It’s really my choice, but James tells me that whatever ordeal I am going through is actually making me steady; that this ordeal is a testing of my faith and that if I trust the process then it will bring a firm foundation in my life… and this is the very reason why I can actually be joyful in these times [light-bulb].
Daddy says it is for discipline that we endure these things. I am not going through stuff because He is out to punish me. I live in a fallen world and with that problems are sure to come. The thing is, as a father, He’s not going to make my every problem disappear. He is going to let me crawl so that I may walk, no matter how many times I fall over! Through it all, He never gives up, but is always teaching, guiding, and directing me.
Yea, admittedly, most days it’s hard to remember this since I am being wrecked, refined, and challenged day in and day out. I have to wake up every morning and remind myself that I can be joyful even in the crummiest situations. How? By not looking to what’s happening around me, but looking to the big picture of why I am being put through the test. And this testing, if I endure, will lead to a victorious outcome of being stronger, wiser, more disciplined, and lacking in nothing!
… none of it is going in vain. It’s only making me steadier and stronger in faith! The truth is that without the process of facing trials, I would be like a student who memorized all the answers to a test yet never walked away with learning anything because it was all handed to me on a silver platter. There simply would be no substance to my life at all. It has been in the toughest times of my life where I’ve truly learned and grown the most. This time is no different. How can this truth not bring me joy?! I think I’m finally starting to understand what James was talking about… 🙂